I found out today that my son’s best friend just got the same teacher my son had last year. The thing about this teacher is, she drove us out of our public school and into private because of how badly she treated our son and us. Obviously, there are some hard feelings between us and this teacher (probably more on our end… the teacher was glad to be rid of our child and us her class I would guess). I find myself wondering what if this other child has a great experience with her? Does that mean it was all our fault for the bad experience? (of course I want this child to have a wonderful year)
But this got me to reflecting, as everything does, about our perspective in the world and how it is our own to have. If this other child (or any children for that matter) love this teacher and have a positive experience with her, it doesn’t invalidate the experience our child had. Each experience is its own and it isn’t a requirement that the whole world have the same experiences as us to have our experience be true.
Taking this a step further, I am always thinking of the other side of the story. The “two sides to every story” concept. Wondering what her story could possibly be, at the same time, being able to see it perfectly. I can have compassion for the teacher who has a full class, with several children who have special needs, one of which loves to debate every rule and issue and has passive agressive behavior down to a science (that’s mine 
. If the parents would just “make” their child more accountable for his “bad” behavior, her life would be easier, but instead they (we) insist on requesting she work with this personality and allow it to be guided in positive directions rather than stopped. Who has time for that, this is not a private school with a ratio of 1 to 10 for goodness sake!
Of course, our side being that our child is very intelligent and has a very unique and useful personality IF guided in the right direction. Of course, improperly guided or used it turns into a nightmare of boundary testing and an unmotivated student. There is of course some of my spirituality in there as well, with says that children are here to teach us as much as we are here to teach them and we must pay attention to those lessons as well.
My point is… there is probably something you are hanging onto as a personal attack of some sort. Something you feel was a violation against you, at no fault of your own. Hanging on to these things (as I obviously am a bit too) isn’t going to help you feel lighter, more connected, and ready for the next thing. It will leave you feeling gun shy, bitter, even resentful.
Insightful Inspiration of the week
Reflect on a situation you have taken personally or are still holding a grudge over. Something you think someone else has done to you unfairly. Take a look at this from all angles and sides. Allowing yourself to view it as if from a third party stance. What is happening here really? Why do you care what this person has done? What does it matter? Is it over and done with? If so, can you move on and forgive and forget? Why not? What parts of you feel wounded? Do you feel hurt? Angry? Maybe you feel you have something to prove or convince this person of.
In the scenario above, my mothering was questioned a lot with this teacher. She obviously believed I wasn’t doing a good job. That hit me to the core and I wanted to prove her wrong no matter what. But here is the catch, I don’t have to prove her wrong! I am a wonderful mother to my children. I know this and do my best with them every day. But I had to heal this part of myself, realizing that some part of me must have wondered if she was right. Otherwise, why would I care?
The other thing that poked me to the core was her belief that my child was “bad” in some way. Again, I wanted to prove her wrong. This was more about me wanting to see the world accept my unique child without question. I so badly want the world to accept ME too and find my clairvoyant abilities and just my presence to light some people up into judgement. I don’t want this for my child. Again, perfect place to work on healing myself. There was only the validation to my child (who told me he thought this teacher thought he was the devil) that I thought he deserved better and put him in another school. (public school wouldn’t let us have a different teacher) Allowing both he and I to accept ourselves as we are, rather than trying to convince the world to accept us. Teaching him to love himself and trust himself first, then listen to the input of others.
I ask you to take a step back from your head for a second and use these moments in your life as ways to heal yourself rather than injure yourself further. Love yourself for bringing these scenarios into your life to teach you what you want to learn as a spirit. Embrace them, rather than be victimized by them.
Share your thoughts please!
Sending unconditional love and light your way this week. – Leanne
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